Observing the Kids

Today we went to the nursing home and soccer practice again. At the nursing home we encourage them to hug the older people and sing songs and recite things they know. Mikey is overall pretty good at it, but he can be annoyingly clingy. But he's exceptional when he wants to be. Sami however, she doesn't do a thing. She's basically just there. She gives people snacks but she only does that because she wants one of the snacks when they're done handing them out. It's clearly not her cup of tea. But, I'm trying to figure out a way to encourage her to enjoy it in some way or another. I do not want to force it on her so I let her alone most of the time. Roman is too young to do anything other than be cute and that makes him a hit on his own.

One thing I've noticed too is that Sami also knows much of what I'm teaching Mikey, but she refuses to do it on her own. There have been times that she will do large chunks of Psalm 23, the Pledge, the ABC's, or counting, but she rarely wants to do any part on her own and I don't know if she's ever done anything completely on her own. One thing I have to remind myself is Mikey is what I believe to be accelerated so I can't compare them to each other. Overall, Sami is probably on par or even advanced in comparison to other almost three year olds, but it is interesting to observe.

I observe it mainly to learn what she (and Mikey and Roman) enjoy and excel in. I want to encourage them to do things they like and do them well. I also want to know how best to teach them. They are both extremely competitive. Mikey will do anything if you make it a competition or if you reward him with praise in the end. Sami will do things in a competition - usually, but not always. She will only do things if she's motivated internally (kind of like her dad). She has to be gently nudged, but she will not do it well if she's forced - and she may come to hate whatever it is that you are forcing. Unfortunately, I'm not good at gently nudging and I'm still trying to work on that myself as well as figure out other ways to motivate her. Roman's hard to tell still, but he tends to be fairly compliant. Unlike the other two (specifically when they were his age), when I tell him "no", he will often stop what he is doing and do something else. He is pretty easy to distract and he can usually find something to make him happy. However, he does have strong emotions. He has been angry before and made me laugh at his display of emotion. He gripes angrily with a clear grimace on his face. He has even pushed me and thrown things out of anger - which for his age seems a little extreme. When he is in his high emotion moments, he is often non-distractable until he is finished expelling his emotion. For the future, this tells me that I will have to allow him to go through a complete emotional timeline before we can move on to anything else.

At soccer practice everything is similar, but it seems to me that I do have some athletic children. As I mentioned before, the coach mentioned that Mikey handles the ball well and I have to agree, he does handle it well. Some of this may be that he wants to be just like Daddy and that means that he has to be good at soccer so he has that motivation. Plus, Daddy has worked with him on a few soccer techniques. But, he really does seem to have a knack for it and also seems to really enjoy it. The same goes for Sami. As I mentioned above, I can't make her do anything, but when she does practice (which she voluntarily does for the majority of the practice) she does really well too. She can dribble and make a goal. She can trap too. One thing I am also noticing is that if I encourage them at this point to do things that others would probably think are advanced they are better at the skill. For example, in dribbling, most are satisfied if the child can keep the ball near them and going the specified direction without using their hands. I am constantly telling them that they need to keep it near them or I will steal it and also that they need to use both feet when dribbling. When I do this with Mikey (at this point Sami is usually off in her own world) he improves his technique. Plus, he thrives on the competition of not letting me steal the ball. My suspicion is that Roman will enjoy soccer as well because he loves any kind of ball and he's extremely tough (I don't know if that was genetics or two older siblings).

Overall, I find it fascinating to observe the kids. Primarily, I really want to figure out their dreams and encourage them to pursue them. I want to help them focus on them and motivate them to attain them and to never quit at reaching them. Yes, I want them to be ambitious. But, I want them to be ambitious on whatever it is that drives them. I believe God gives us our passions and desires and as a parent, I feel it's my job to help them find those God-given desires and then encourage the God-given direction to achieve the following dreams.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
--Psalm 37:4