Tired and extended and selfish

It's been more than a week since my last post. I'll be honest, I haven't wanted to post out of personal discouragement and exhaustion. My parents came in for Sami's birthday (soon I'll post pictures for that) and that was great, but when they left I was exhausted and tired and Michael and I were in a fight. Michael didn't expect us to fight while he was gone, but I knew it would happen sooner or later. Fortunately he was able to call and in a long drawn out conversation (the longest we've had since March; thanks to Nadia for watching the kids through part of it) we finally sorted it all out.

After that, Michael and I were doing well again via e-mail and I was feeling encouraged because we were finally half way done with the deployment. But, then I felt sick and even more tired. Instead of blogging, I worked on resting to kick out the sick feeling and that worked, but it took a few days. By the time it was done the 4th of July was the next day - holidays are big downers for me when Michael's away - so I became pretty discouraged. Which is the day that I received an e-mail from Michael that his deployment officially has been extended 30 days - not half-way yet. So, a mini-depression hit.

Fortunately I have a great church with great people who without knowing it provided plenty of distraction from my self-pity. In that time, my friend had her baby (see prayer request post from May) and they are doing well (but not out of the woods yet so keep praying). That was a great encouragement and helped distract some focus from myself.

Then, I found out that a friend from the Joint Law Center where Michael works when he's home will be traveling to her hometown to get medical care for her youngest. That doesn't sound so bad, except she's having to leave her husband alone here while she's there with the kids only to return about the time he deploys for 9-12 months. In case you don't get what that means: they will be geographically separated for atleast 15 months. Yup. That's all I needed to realize I am being extremely selfish and small-minded.

God is so much bigger and there is so much more to worry about besides what I worry about. Like Michael says, there's always someone else suffering more. At the beginning of the deployment I decided I was going to learn how to rejoice in suffering and focus on others rather than myself. I confess in the last week or so, I had lost that.

I'm refocusing again (symbolized by the new blog template) on God's plan for the testing he blesses us with for His glory.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. -- 1 Peter 1:6-7