The first week's done

The hubby has now been gone a week. The first week has had its ups and downs. I'm less emotional now because I'm getting used to his absence. The first day was rough because I was used to a routine that he would be home at some point in the day and every time I realized he was not coming home I'd get teary. But now I'm used to the fact that he's not going to be home today. Now I'm getting used to the idea that he won't be home for months.

There are moments that I just don't believe that anyone does this. But then I think about the countless moms/wives that I know personally that have done it (sometimes more than once or twice and for longer!). I know I can do it, I just have to figure it all out.

I figured out before he left that self-pity would be my downfall, so I've been working hard to shoot that out of mind the moment I feel it creeping in. But then I've also realized that Michael is my voice of reason. He brings reality or perspective to my SAHM world.

When Michael's away I tend to overreact more often when the kids do something I don't like (especially more than once). I started pondering why this is and realized that often times Michael is around somewhere saying something like "remember he's just a kid" or "big picture Kelle, big picture". Or when he's been away on trainings or whatever he'll say something to me like "I would give anything just to see him even if she/he's misbehaving".

Then that brings it all home and I realize I'm the one who is blessed. I get to spend seven months bonding with my children during a hard time. It's self-centered to think "woe is me"! If I were the one in Afghanistan I'd be heartbroken to think that I couldn't see or hear my children for more than a few hours, much less for months.

Obviously, for those that are spiritual, you are probably saying "you should be relying upon the Holy Spirit most importantly". I agree, however, right now I'm claiming Romans 8:26-27:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

At the moment, it's just a little too hard for me to begin praying about anything related to Michael (besides some simple prayers with the kids). I don't like to be emotional and raw and that's where it takes me. However, I do believe and hope that by the time Michael comes home, my prayer life will be deeper and greater. Until then, I am depending upon the Spirit and am desperately grateful that he intercedes so perfectly for me and my family.

For now, I am brainstorming on ways to focus on others. I'm praying for:

• A single friend who is now in a new job and is hearing comments towards the pursuit of a Christian doctor/bachelor she works around. I remember those struggles and am grateful I'm not there any more, however I do know how to pray well for that situation.
• I'm also praying for my pregnant friend due in a few weeks (who already has three stair step children like mine) who broke her foot last week.
• Then there's my other pregnant friend who found out she has an ovarian cyst.
• Then there's the friend whose husband is also deployed and she is due to have the baby (the second) while her husband's away.
• Then there's another friend who is struggling with IBS and helps me to appreciate my physical health.

If you're reading this, I invite you to join in prayer for them!